Over the last week, I have been undergoing a series of tests in an attempt to determine if the area on my liver is a recurrence of breast cancer. (FYI-any recurrence of cancer is considered to be the same name as original cancer which has traveled to other parts of the body)
Tests show that this area does not look like a cyst or a hemangioma (other benign condition). However due to the small size and location of this area it is extremely difficult to get to-even to examine to clearly define what it is.
This morning God reminded me of what he showed me the very first time I spoke about my cancer in 2011. God says “Cancer is the outward symbolism of sin in the church”. Wow!! I’m praying even now that we will see our conditions and make the necessary adjustments.
Some facts about my current situation:
1. Had I still been working for my most recent employer I would not have been able to have the first test to detect this mysterious spot.
2. The area is small, which is both positive and negative. Positive-it is definitely early detection which gives hope for cure or corrective treatment once it is determined what it is. Negative-because it presents itself so small and its location not in plain view, testing and diagnosis are extremely difficult.
The secret sins in our life are much like this. Matthew 5:21-30 shows that there are degrees of sin but yet they carry the same guilt as sin that manifests itself in the form of outward and ungodly behavior.
I have had a CT scan and it showed that an MRI would better detect. It did not. It shows what’s there and it shows what it’s not but it still did not confirm what it is. So now an ultrasound is to be performed just to determine if a biopsy is possible due to size and location. I’m saying to my condition-“You’ve been found out. You can try and hide. You can try and plant yourself in places that are less likely to detect-but you have already been found out and my doctor and I vow to not stop until we have identified you and gotten rid of you. Much like this potential cancer attempting to hide itself in my body, our secret sins will not remain secret. 1 Corinthians 4:5 says “The Lord will bring to light the things hidden in the darkness.” Jesus also said there is nothing covered up that will not be revealed and hidden that will not be known. Accordingly, whatever has been said in the dark shall be heard in the light and whatever has been whispered in the inner rooms shall be proclaimed upon the housetops. (Luke 12: 2-3). Those who think they can evade shame by sinning in secret will discover one day that open disclosure of their secrets before the very throne of God is the worst shame of all.
Be clear that sin in the mind is a fruit of the same moral defect that produces deeds of sin. Secret sins intensify their guilt and add hypocrisy. Like a cancer spreading, this hypocrisy tends to cover our souls and cause us to suffer with an inability to genuinely repent of our sins. Hypocrisy also works against our conscience in a way that renders us powerless to let go of the secret sins. This makes way for the most morally bad and character-damaging sins.
Reality is, our secret lives are the real litmus test of our character. If you want to know who you really are, take a look at your private life. Use the mirror of God’s word to disclose and correct you. Like I’m telling this “thing” in me, tell these “things” in you-According to the word of God, “You Can’t Hide.” you’ve been found out and you will be destroyed!
They do try and hide, but I feel the doctors are sometimes to quick to say “I don’t think”… Well I took his word for his I don’t think and the pain in my left kidney area is not muscle pain so…as I do my chemo treatment tomorrow….. I will let him know that I could care less about what he thinks….show me why….you don’t think…DON’T TELL MY WHY YOU DON’T THINK….. God put it before you to see…and no matter what… IT COULDN’T HIDE…. God is the Greatest