A few weeks ago in my prayer time God really pressed on me the need to address the rifts that continue to exist in families.

I couldn’t help but think about celebrity and famous families such as the MLK family, the Brown/Houston families, and Beyoncé and her dad’s ongoing dispute.  I read an article that said not only has Beyoncé fired her dad professionally, but she has also fired him personally.  As of the date, of the article her daughter had never been introduced to her dad.  With the relationship and interaction, I see between my dad and my daughter, I had a hard time imagining what that must feel like and how all the money in the world won’t replace the lost time.

When I pondered, why do rifts continue in families, a scripture came to mind that initially left me even more conflicted.  “If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison-your father and mother, wife, and children, brothers and sisters-yes, even your own life.  otherwise you cannot to be my disciple.” Luke 14:26.  My initial thought, “how in the world does this scripture aid families in loving one another.  Then the big light came on.

Where’s your focus?  Is it on God or is it on something that happened since childhood that you can’t seem to shake.  Or is it on the misunderstanding that you and a sibling had at the family reunion 3 years ago?  I believe that God is calling his children to deny themselves and follow him.  If we keep our eyes fixed on Him, we will remember the grace and mercy He has extended to us and surely extend that same grace to one another.

This does not imply we maintain relationships with those who are toxic and wreak havoc in our lives.  In instances where a family member has apologized and seeks reconciliation, how is it that we continue to harbor bitterness towards them in our hearts.  By loving Jesus first we remember His mercy.  We remember how He has kept us.  We remember all the times He’s delivered us.  We remember how he continuously blesses us.  How then, if our focus truly is on Him and all He’s done for us do we continue to allow issues of the past to divide us?

I attended a funeral recently and I pondered the various dispositions of the family members as they came down to have their final viewing.  The children of the deceased, some were as young as 6 or 7 years old seemed very calm. And then in walked the siblings.  Many were wailing loudly and I couldn’t help but wonder-Had they allowed life to happen?  Had they fallen out some time ago and failed to make reconciliation and as a result missed all the signs that their loved one would be leaving them soon?  I’ll never know the answer but one thing’s for sure-time truly is filled swift transition.

Ask yourself, is the thing which happened really worth hanging on  to?

I  pray that we will begin to deal with our family matters, recognizing just how much the family matters to God!