It’s so amazing how life circumstances can bring out the very best and the very worst in people.

Looking over my life, I realize it was the diagnosis of breast cancer that brought so many of my family and friend groups back together.

You see, as life happened, we began to drift apart and in some instances let futile disagreements and misunderstandings keep us apart.

As my cancer diagnosis got worse, prayers were going forth across the nation. Prayer calls and conference calls were held regularly. Others jumped on initiatives to raise awareness-unfortunately this only lasted for a season.

 I find myself in another life circumstance and unfortunately the support of others doesn’t resemble anything similar to the season of breast cancer. While this season truly is the death of a significant period of time in my life (and the breast cancer was not), I have had so called friends walk out on me, some I have had to dismiss, folks who are looking at my assets, hoping I’ll sell them all so they can benefit, folks who because of their own selfish motives have no respect of my time, responsibilities, money or health.

Sadly,  those who appeared to be praying mightily during my illness appear to be preying mightily now.

Isn’t that just like Satan? Since scripture is clear we wrestle not against flesh and blood(Ephesians 6:12), I recognize it is the deceiver himself who is working undercover through those who allow him by being selfish, calculating in some cases down right malicious.

I asked God some time ago, “Why is it that people react so caringly when they learn of someone’s cancer diagnosis, yet the same people allow so many other cancerous, toxic, debilitating and even deadly conditions to go untreated.”  God’s response -“People are afraid of the dying but not the judgment. “

So to those of you who, like me struggle to know from day to day, who is friend and who is enemy, I encourage you with the words of 1Peter 5:8-9, “Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your family of believers all over the world is going through the same kind of suffering you are.”

By staying alert, you will be sure to know who is praying and who is preying!

A few weeks ago in my prayer time God really pressed on me the need to address the rifts that continue to exist in families.

I couldn’t help but think about celebrity and famous families such as the MLK family, the Brown/Houston families, and Beyoncé and her dad’s ongoing dispute.  I read an article that said not only has Beyoncé fired her dad professionally, but she has also fired him personally.  As of the date, of the article her daughter had never been introduced to her dad.  With the relationship and interaction, I see between my dad and my daughter, I had a hard time imagining what that must feel like and how all the money in the world won’t replace the lost time.

When I pondered, why do rifts continue in families, a scripture came to mind that initially left me even more conflicted.  “If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison-your father and mother, wife, and children, brothers and sisters-yes, even your own life.  otherwise you cannot to be my disciple.” Luke 14:26.  My initial thought, “how in the world does this scripture aid families in loving one another.  Then the big light came on.

Where’s your focus?  Is it on God or is it on something that happened since childhood that you can’t seem to shake.  Or is it on the misunderstanding that you and a sibling had at the family reunion 3 years ago?  I believe that God is calling his children to deny themselves and follow him.  If we keep our eyes fixed on Him, we will remember the grace and mercy He has extended to us and surely extend that same grace to one another.

This does not imply we maintain relationships with those who are toxic and wreak havoc in our lives.  In instances where a family member has apologized and seeks reconciliation, how is it that we continue to harbor bitterness towards them in our hearts.  By loving Jesus first we remember His mercy.  We remember how He has kept us.  We remember all the times He’s delivered us.  We remember how he continuously blesses us.  How then, if our focus truly is on Him and all He’s done for us do we continue to allow issues of the past to divide us?

I attended a funeral recently and I pondered the various dispositions of the family members as they came down to have their final viewing.  The children of the deceased, some were as young as 6 or 7 years old seemed very calm. And then in walked the siblings.  Many were wailing loudly and I couldn’t help but wonder-Had they allowed life to happen?  Had they fallen out some time ago and failed to make reconciliation and as a result missed all the signs that their loved one would be leaving them soon?  I’ll never know the answer but one thing’s for sure-time truly is filled swift transition.

Ask yourself, is the thing which happened really worth hanging on  to?

I  pray that we will begin to deal with our family matters, recognizing just how much the family matters to God!

I was recently asked “How Have I Overcome the Struggle?”- in other words how I have overcome the bondage, the restraint, the attacks?  I was going to try and give some real powerful action that I-in and of myself had accomplished but then – as if prompted by someone, the word of God stood me right in the face and I had no choice but to respond with the words of Ephesians 6:12.  “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

Spiritual forces of evil or Satan’s team-and again the question “How have I overcome them?” The word of God again is clear. Rev 12:11 “And they overcame him (Satan) by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.”

Every struggle-particularly the major ones I have overcome by sharing and allowing others to be encouraged and determined in their own struggles. Robbery, relationship failures, restoration of a cancerous body, and now the rebuild that is required after the end of an almost 11 year marriage are all things I have openly shared and will continue to share.

While I encourage others to experience that same freedom, I fully recognize that many are not willing to do so.  Never has that been a problem for me and never has anyone experienced any judgment from me.  The problems lie in others’s attempts to discourage, discredit and just plain dis me for the level of freedom I have chosen.  The end result-more envy, more backbiting, more failed friendships, more cover-up, just plain- more sin.

So I ask you to consider what makes more sense-being free to overcome Satan, his team and tactics or being bound with the “appearance” of freedom, and a life full of cover-up, corruption, and many other cancerous conditions that -as I have stated in my book, “Cancer-Us”- lead to the death of something.

Whatever your choice, I pray that you will be able to rest with it.  If you’ve watched me fare through storm after storm, you should be amazed how little I look like all I’ve been through.  I’d like to take credit for that.  But truth of the matter is, all credit belongs to the one true and living God I serve-the one who sent His only Son to overcome the greatest struggle of all.

 “A time is coming and in fact has come when you will be scattered, each to your own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me. I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16: 32-33

We’ve all been guilty of it at some time or another-giving lip service-Verbally expressing our agreement with or allegiance to something that is later unsupported by any real conviction or action we’ve taken.

I’m concerned today that as Christians, even leaders and pastors, there is a plethora of “lip service” being given by those who claim to know Christ and those who so many look up to for spiritual leadership and guidance.  I continue to pray that God will stay his hand of correction and punishment as we work hard to marry up our sincere convictions to the words we so eloquently speak.

I grew up believing that the African proverb, “what comes from the heart reaches the heart” was scripture.  While I cherish the wisdom of years past, I rely solely on the word of God to guide me and direct my life and actions.  Matthew 15:18 says this, “But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.”  Jeremiah 17:9 says this, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”  When I look at the word of God, I realize the grim reality that perhaps this is why there is so much hurt in the world.  It is the deception we sow that continues to painfully sting the heart of others and hurting hearts breed deception and thus the cycle continues.

What is it that you hear proceeding out of the mouths of those around you?  Profanity, predation, pride or prayer? It is only through prayer, a personal relationship with God and the power of the Holy Spirit at work in us that we are able to obtain a changed heart.   Jeremiah 24:7 says, “And I will give them an heart to know me, that I am the Lord: and they shall be my people, and I will be their God: for they shall return unto me with their whole heart.”

Accepting Christ at a young age is enough for salvation but not enough for saintly living.  I did that.  I did believe that Christ died on the cross for my sins and I did believe that was enough.  It wasn’t until I was in graduate school some 15 years later, that I cried out to God, “Lord, help me to find the love in you I continue to seek in others.”  It was then that God began to give me a heart to know him.

A key to note is that God must give us the heart to know Him and operate in love at all times.  He stands waiting but He will not force Himself on us.  Our heart in any place other than in His hands is deceitful and only able to spread its wrath on others and aid us in the destructive patterns that continue to defile us.

One of the most hurtful things is to realize that someone you love is only providing you with “lip service” in return.  I’m convinced that God sees us that way at times.  I am admonishing you today, use those lips to cry out to God and allow Him to change your heart in such a way that you return completely to Him with a heart that is whole, exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit and able to love unconditionally. With that posture those lips and every other part of you is ready for “service” that honors God and draws all men unto Him!

Recently, I had a liver biopsy to extract a sample of tissue to determine if I had a recurrence of cancer. The procedure for the liver biopsy was significantly different from the breast biopsy I previously had. With the breast procedure, I had to lie on a table with a hole in it and the radiologist worked below the table. With a local anesthesia, I was unable to feel anything except a little pulling and the only real evidence was the bandages I was required to wear afterwards.

With the liver procedure, I was required to lie on my back with my right hand under my head. I had to be as still as possible. The radiologists used ultrasound technology to identify the correct spot for the biopsy needle to be inserted into the liver. My skin was cleaned, and numbing medicine was injected into the area using a small needle. A small cut was made at spot, and the biopsy needle was inserted. I was told to hold my breath while the biopsy was taken to reduce the chance of damage to my liver. The needle was removed quickly and pressure was applied to stop the bleeding. Like the breast biopsy, a bandage was placed over the insertion site.

Notice the difference. I lay flat on my back and witnessed every aspect of this procedure. When the needle would go in it would literally take my breath away and I could feel a tinge to my spine.

I lay there as this procedure was repeated three times and in my mind I counted one for the Father, one for the Son, one for the Holy Ghost. I kept thinking about all of the discomfort I felt even with the numbing medication. After the procedure I asked about that and was told the discomfort was due to the radiologist having to pierce the entire length of my liver to get to the right spot.

Wow! I began to think about Jesus and a tear fell from my face. He who was without sin took on my sin and the sins of the world that day. I now had this vivid picture of what it must have been like when they pierced Him in the side. And he had no sin and no numbing medication. What great mercy He has shown each of us. I really don’t know why we have such a hard time extending that same mercy to each other. This Easter really reflect on the pain He took on so we don’t have to. I have first hand experience of the piercing-but the pain- I can only imagine!!!

It’s really amazing how fast kids grow up. It is a fun season in my daughter’s life as I watch her begin to establish her independence in certain areas and only look to Mommy for guidance when she can’t quite make something work on her own.  One such area is getting dressed.  This has presented the greatest challenge on Sundays when more clothing and foundations are required in getting dressed. Putting on stockings has been the greatest challenge of all.  I noticed that once I assist my daughter in getting her feet in the stockings, she gets eager and starts pulling on the stockings from the very top.  I have found myself continuously saying, “You have to start from the bottom, then pull your way up.”

With only her feet in the stockings and the majority of the weight still remaining around her ankles, pulling on the top will only cause a major stretch or resistance in the middle, and usually result in “ruins” or holes in the stockings.

In life, our ability to rise above our circumstances often requires the same consideration.  We often have a tendency to pull up from the top, (which represents the places we can see with ease and with no soul searching or examining of ourselves) without assessing the effect of all of the weights remaining at the bottom.  Often times if we are honest, we can’t even carry the weight of our “rock bottom” situations alone.  Praise God, we don’t have to.

“He pulled me out of a horrible pit, out of the mud and clays.  He set my feet on a rock and made my steps secure.” (Psalm 40:2, God’s Word Translation)  Pull- to exert force on someone or something by taking hold of them in order to move or try to move them toward oneself or the origin of the force. God will meet us in the very bottom places of our situations and by any means necessary take hold of us to get us to the place where He is and the place where we can best be used by Him and for His glory.

There is a beauty in our rock bottom experiences.  Knowing that the only way remaining is up.  Don’t try to start in the middle where it may look easy or familiar to pull up and begin again.  Get in the mud, get to the bottom and accept it for what it is-your authentic starting place.  Then begin right there- to pull your way up!

By pure definition “crazy faith” is “a mentally deranged complete trust in someone or something”. I have come to the startling realization that there are many that have this ungodly view of how relationships between husbands and wives should be.

In these last and evil days, I have come in the name of the Father to expose the devil for his deceptive tactics in this area of marital relationships.

Looking back I have begun to realize the exorbitant amount of bad advice which has been shared with people all over this world, much of which I bought into myself, until recently.

Here are my top five with my very personal rebuttals:

1. Men can’t handle nagging
Interestingly enough sports fans love to nag and chide-it’s part of the game. Perhaps the real issue is more of where the commitment lies than the act riding or getting on their case to fulfill the commitment

2. Marriage is not 50/50 it’s 80/20.
How tiring are either of these ratios?
Consider a stick man concept and the potential lack one might receive by only having a ration of another in relationship.

3. Don’t have expectations ( a strong belief that something will happen) so you don’t frustrate (cause someone to be angry) yourself.

In other words limit your belief that someone will fulfill their commitment to you in an effort to limit your pain on yourself which you will feel anyway when commitment goes unfulfilled-who does that?

4. Fight for your marriage.
Use physical force, weapons, argue in an angry way to make the marriage work. Really?

5. Women have to be the ones to give in. It’s just not in a man’s nature.

Ephesians 5:28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.

The verse above is just one piece of God’s instruction for Spirit guided relationships between husbands and wives. Meditate on Ephesians 5:21-33 as you seek to renew your mind against a crazy, deranged belief system that does not line up with the word of God.

Expect the very best God has for you!!! Now that’s crazy faith!!!

Have you ever heard someone say, “Let’s just get to the heart of the matter”?  In essence, they are saying let’s get to the core, the main reasoning of the problem. Much like the heart is the main essence of a person that keeps them living, the heart of a matter is what  causes it to be an issue.

I took a close look at the anatomy of the human heart. It is hollow.  It pumps the blood to the lungs and through the circulatory system through rhythmic contraction and dilation.  In humans, there may be up to four chambers, with two atria and two ventricles.

The heart’s atria is the collection place (entry) for deoxygenated and oxygenated blood.  Both chambers of the atria are symbolic of Jesus in our lives.  He is the only way that those who lack “spiritual oxygen” can come to know God and receive eternal life. Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6.  Additionally, the “oxygenated” believer must come through Him for growth and to be adequately prepared to serve in other areas in the body of Christ.

Anatomically speaking, the blood not only carries oxygen to the heart, it also takes away carbon dioxide (CO2). Chemistry was not my favorite subject so I struggled to understand the importance of the removal of the CO2 from the heart.  Through research, I learned that an improper amount of CO2 causes plaque to build up.  I also learned that removal is necessary for healing and preventing heart disease. In the same manner, Jesus, who was without sin, shed His blood for the remission of our sins. This blood gives us eternal life and cleanses our imperfections and impurities rendering us white as snow.

From my perspective, the ventricles symbolize the church.  Ventricles receive the blood and then the right ventricle pumps it to the lungs and the left ventricle pumps it to tissues all over the body. When the church is healthy it is properly suited to aid others in coming to know Christ in a personal and permanent way and preparing them to operate in ministry in a way that edifies and encourages rather than confuses and discourages.

The septum which separates and protects each segment for its intended purpose is how the Holy Spirit operates in our lives, shielding us while simultaneously guiding us to all truth.  “

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23 NIV

We the people are the very heart of the church. Spiritually, our heart does not have to remain hollow. “For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” Romans 5:5.  We should recognize that we are an integral part of the life and death of the church.  We can assist in providing clear channels for God’s word to flow or we can be unfiltered blood, maintaining too much gas, tasting sour and smelling, causing buildup like plaque and being a major contributor to disease killing agents in the church.

I pray today that we will get to the heart of the matter and assess the matters of our heart, recognizing how very much the heart really matters.

With another Valentine’s Day gone, I can’t help but wonder if the aroma of love is still filling the homes and hearts of those who embraced the day in grandiose fashion.  It has been said that February 14 is not a day set aside for finding new love, but rather a day of appreciation in the form of gifts, acts of service and other gestures for the love you currently have.

What is love? One simple definition is an intense feeling of deep affection.  I must ask the question-wouldn’t this type of condition be best served if felt and expressed year round?

I saw a picture of an iceberg recently, including the portion underwater which represented at least 70 % of the total volume of the iceberg and I’m convinced it symbolizes the way most people allow their love to  flow.  At the surface, our love for one another appears to be worth marveling at. I’m convinced we are merely “touching the tip of the iceberg” of what a real love relationship is like.

I did a little research and found something interesting to consider about the iceberg’s ability to carry it’s greatest volume below the surface yet not sink in the water (its buoyancy). What I learned is this-there must be a perfecting (not equal) balance in the weight of the water displaced and weight and volume of the iceberg. If at any time, the volume of the displaced water equaled the volume of the iceberg, the iceberg would sink.

Perhaps our inability to experience a deeper love is the imbalance in the weight we carry at the surface which causes our relationships to sink before we can ever get below the surface. If we allow ourselves to take off the layers we will see a whole new area of untapped love just waiting to be experienced.  How do we experience this love?  How is anything deeper than a surface level love possible? I’m glad you asked.

First and foremost, we will never be able to properly love one another until we first love God.  ³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’^{[a] 38} This is the first and greatest commandment.  ( Matthew 22: 37-38) Giving Him our heart first prepares it for an in-depth love with one another.  ¹⁵ “If you love me, keep my commands. (John 14:15). These commands not only involve “not committing adultery, not stealing and killing one another,  but include forgiving often, not repaying evil for evil, and praying for one another to name a few.  These actions help to build longstanding love relationships. Loving God includes accepting that wounds, scars, hurts and trials of the past are healed and embracing the truth that He makes us over again and again.  It is only after we accept His love for us and all that encompasses that we are able to love one another-EVERYDAY, ALL DAY, IN EVERY WAY, with no need for annualized pretense on a commercialized “special day for love”.

Let the iceberg remind you of the mass of opportunity that is available to go deeper in your love relationships.  Whether you verbalize it as “I love you”, “Love you”, or “Love ya”, your actions will remove all doubt and fulfill any curiosity.  Like the Bee Gee’s 1970’s hit, I ask you to examine your heart, assess your love for God and acceptance of all of His love, forgiveness, redemption and restoration for you and tell me, “How Deep is Your Love?’

Denial and deception is the idea of denying information to an adversary or deceiving an adversary.  This strategy has long history in military warfare, politics, and overwhelmingly in current day media.  In military strategy, deny and deceive are used in concert with each other to manipulate other’s view of situations and often to incite rage or other “fight” emotions.  In our spiritual lives, these terms appear to oppose each other as we consider the deception that keeps us from denying what God has admonished us to.

“For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world” Titus 2:11-12

In a general sense, to deny is to refuse to “give or grant” something requested. This appears to apply to our horizontal relationships. As children of God, we are urged to refuse to “give in” to ungodly behavior and worldly lusts.  This is in response to our vertical relationship with God. Interestingly enough we are encouraged to give often to others (horizontal) and discouraged to give in to the things that are not of God (vertical).  By visualizing this horizontal and vertical view working simultaneously, we see the cross and our reliance on the Holy Spirit to successfully do both.

Often times when I share my struggles with others, I get a response like “Dywuana, that’s no big deal. You’ve overcome greater than this.”  The implication here is my battle with breast cancer.

I’ve determined that cancer will always be viewed as the biggest hurdle in life to jump over from so many people’s point of view.  As I said in my book, “Cancer Us: It was Me. Is it You?”, my situation was a win-win.  I honestly did not struggle with that diagnosis as much as I do in some of my other life matters.

Recently I prayed and asked God, “Why is it that so many buckle at the diagnosis of cancer yet seem to have no real concern about what You would find if You returned today?”

The answer I received-“Many are afraid of the dying but not the judgment.”

“That’s the whole story. Here now is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone’s duty. God will judge us for everything we do, including every secret thing, whether good or bad.” Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 NLT

While there may be temporary pleasures that come with continuing to give in to the things that are not of God and the worldly lusts and pleasures of life, be clear God’s word is true. He loves us and wants the best for us but He will judge us when He returns.  Refuse to be deceived any longer, your choice to deny does not cause you any loss, but it solidifies your eternal gain!