I’ve often wondered in this season at the most difficult time of my life (many have heard me say that for me the devastation of divorce has been more traumatic than cancer ever was), God would send me to a place I never wanted to live with no “known” relatives at that time to pick up the fragments of my life and raise my child. Didn’t that sound like a setup for disaster?
I recall the day my ex-husband left and the weeks that followed. I remember the day the burden fell on me to move and the pieces that lined up perfectly (or at least so I thought) to ensure me that this was God’s plan. I have felt the hurt of accusations that there must be a “man”, that I was pawning my child or that I was running from something. But in the midst of the pain, I could still here God speaking, not just Jeremiah 29:11 but rather Isaiah 43:19, “For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.” and
Jeremiah 29:5-10, “Build homes, and plan to stay. Plant gardens, and eat the food they produce. 6 Marry and have children. Then find spouses for them so that you may have many grandchildren. Multiply! Do not dwindle away! 7 And work for the peace and prosperity of the city where I sent you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, for its welfare will determine your welfare.” This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, the God of Israel, says: “Do not let your prophets and fortune-tellers who are with you in the land of Babylon trick you. Do not listen to their dreams, because they are telling you lies in my name. I have not sent them,” says the Lord. This is what the Lord says: “You will be in Babylon for seventy years. But then I will come and do for you all the good things I have promised, and I will bring you home again. For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
When you grow to “see” God and Him working in situations and not just “look” with your carnal eye, you will get the deeper meaning of what He’s trying to do in your life. One of many things that God is doing in my life is ensuring that the second cut required of a Mother has been made to give me the confidence that He has developed in me everything I need as a “standalone” person. The first cut was made at my very birth 47 years ago.
Mothers- I ask you today, “Have you made the second cut?” or do you disguise your “mother’s love” by continuing to pay bills and support grown children? Do you show your “love” by meddling in your married children’s affairs, giving guidance from the life hurts that shaped your own decision making? Do you “pray” for them at a distance or do you “prey” on them up close, keeping unhealthy ties to their spouses because “you know your child so well”. Ask yourself if all you have done in the name of “motherly love” has really helped them or held them down longer than they should be.
I know today’s message is a tough one. I am sensitive to those who would say, ” I miss her and I’d give anything to have her back.” But with the reflection on celebrating “mother’s”, I thought it befitting for mother’s to do the self-examination and ensure that we are operating in the manner that God intended. There is pain with the first cut that is inevitable if a child is to live successfully outside of his mother’s womb. Some have been known to face post-partum depression afterwards. The doctor makes the cut and the mother deals with the potential feelings of disconnectedness afterwards.
The second cut involves reversing roles of mother and “doctor”. The true “loving mother” must make the “painful yet conscious” decision to cut. If you haven’t seen progress in situations you desire to be better for your children, ask yourself today, “Am I the problem?” Take action. Make the second cut-the emotional, too involved, meddling, supporting, condoning, concealing, etc. Trust God, the “doctor” by giving them over to Him. Trust Him to be what you both need as you move into the healthy places He has provided for each of you. Trust that just like the cut at birth, He has placed within them everything they need to sustain them wherever their feet may land. A mother’s love is like none other. A truly healthy “mother’s love” requires the second cut!