As my daughter and I continue to settle in to our new world, one thing is clear-we would not be able to bloom where we are now planted without the help and support of others. The other day while lying in my bed, I thought about a person who had just the day before discussed nutrition with my daughter in a way that I had not thought about and I watched my daughter make a brave decision to discontinue eating her choice of snack obtained from a nearby vending machine. There are lots of ways I could have responded- “Why is she in my child’s business?”, “Who does she think she is?”, “Everybody needs to mind their own business.”, “I’m her mama!” and so on and so on. You get the point? But instead I chose to embrace the moment with pure joy. Reality is-had I been the one trying to convey the message to my daughter in that area, it would not have had such positive results. And at the end of the day, isn’t that what we want? Positive results!
In the moment of reflection, I realized that just like prayer in schools, we’ve allowed another deceptive tactic-insecurity- to enter in and destroy the village. I hear so many adults say, “I used to say something when I see children acting up-but not now-these parents today will chew you out about their children.” Where did the care and concern go? Why is it so easy to give up? Why is it not worth the risk to say something? What is the worst thing that can happen? And if you get the point across or plant the seed, no matter the repercussion from an insecure parent, the seed has been planted and your work has been done.
The bible says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6) It does not direct this command to parents alone so I believe every child that’s placed in our path is our responsibility. Often times when I see friends that my mom taught in school, they still give her credit for something she instilled in them that they utilize even today!
I don’t think the blame for the conditions we witness are parents to bear alone. Perhaps they were never taught. And just perhaps, a child crosses your path so you can help that parent and child gain the things that you were blessed to be taught at a young age. Don’t always assume the worst. And furthermore, how bad is the worst? You might be surprised to witness the relief of a parent whose done all he/she knows to do to make a change in the path of their child.
I’m still convinced that it does take a village. I hope today that you will be encouraged and maybe even convicted. Every chance you get to pour into a child whether it’s knowledge of God, schoolwork or simple life lessons or whether it involves the often uncomfortable task of discipline, be willing to “help train them up” so that when they grow old, they won’t depart from it. What’s more uncomfortable dealing with a parent cause you instilled a nugget in their child or dealing with a wayward adult who was never taught?
The other day while in the store, a man had been observing my conversation with my daughter as I encouraged her to look the salesman in the eye and speak up, ensuring that she said “thank you” and “yes sir”! He followed us a ways and then he stopped me. He thanked me for continuing to teach and train her and he seemed very discouraged that he didn’t see that enough in parents. I maintain the same posture with her friends and acquaintances. I encourage those who teach her in church and assist me in child care to do the same. I’m convinced it takes the whole village to train up a child. I’m determined to do my part. Will you?